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Why I Broke Up With Booze

Writer's picture: Melissa PowellMelissa Powell

Booze... the one toxic substance people question you about not using. Turning 21 is like a right of passage... into this magic world of alcohol and all the fun it brings, Well, I can tell you I entered that magic world long before I turned 21 and went deep into the rabbit hole quickly and for the last 25 years have been an avid binge drinker. All of my "fun" centered around getting shitfaced, often blacking out or getting sick and engaging in reckless and harmful behaviors.


Alcohol was a large part of my growing up, everyone in my family drank, often to excess and all their friends drank. I grew up thinking that's just what adult life was about. Over the last 8-10 years things had gotten much worse. Way more getting shitfaced, way more blacking out and way more harmful and reckless behaviors. I was trying to escape the miserable life I had. After the end of my toxic, soul sucking 12 year marriage, I began using alcohol to deal with and mask the pain, stress and terrible blow to my self esteem. I was drinking on school nights, calling in sick, all under the guise of "healing." What I know now is, alcohol only made things worse.


I began reading and learning about all things personal growth and development in late 2016... but I did not stop the abuse of alcohol. A few times after exceptionally regretful happenings, I tried to "slow down." I know now that is an impossibility for me. Fast forward to the last few years, where I began to finally have a life I did not want to escape from... I was happier and healthier, but alcohol was still a huge focus of our lives and "fun."


Over the last year my husband and I have gone "stints" of not drinking for a while. The longest we made it was 42 days, the goal had been 50... we got close. I realize now that the issue was, I always knew in the back of my mind that the "sober sally" phase was temporary, that I was taking a break for a little bit. The problem was after that break the binges were worse, starting on a Friday and ending blacked out, unsure of what happened most of the weekend on Sunday afternoons. I began asking myself, "How is this fun?" And when I got really honest about it,,, it wasn't. So, my husband and I decided that 2023 would be booze free. After more ridiculousness during what was supposed to be a mostly sober new years trip Atlanta, I think I finally was fed up with myself and my toxic relationship with this poisonous, highly addictive substance called alcohol.


So, as of today, March 15th 2023, I have not been shitfaced or had any alcohol in 72 days. I am not "in the program" or "attending meetings" which some people seem to think is the only way to get sober. I just made the decision that drinking was not for me anymore. Now, as someone who enjoyed it for many years, I do not judge anyone who partakes, you want to get shitfaced... do you boo... I will not say a word. If my being sober has a negative effect on you, I would suggest you ask yourself, "Why? What does this bring up in me." So, 2023 is going to be booze free and as of right now, so 2024 and 2025 and the rest of the years ahead. I am thankful for the cheerleaders I have in my life that refrain from "jokingly" calling me nuts or giving me the side eye when I refuse a shot. You are the people I need.


So, if you know "drinking" Melissa and you see me out and about having a water and you wonder why... Here it is ... I choose to remove alcohol from my life because:

  1. It is a poisonous, addictive substance that was hurting my body.

  2. I was tired of waking up with no recollection of what I did the night before.

  3. I was spending way too much money.

  4. It was causing issues in my personal relationships.

  5. I was tired of feeling like I got hit by a truck all week.

  6. I decided that I wanted more out life.

  7. I want to be vibrant, chronic illness free until I am 100 years or older.


Again, I will never judge anyone who is not on the same booze free journey as me, but I am also here for anyone who maybe thinking about it, or may be looking for support. I have been reading and learning and would be happy to share all the things that helped me so far. Thanks for reading.



Hugs Mel

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